therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
