theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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