i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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