I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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