that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?