good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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