Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
