i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
