M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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