kristin has been a bad kristin
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
