I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
