This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
