Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sex in a hospital.. check
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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