His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
