Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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