I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found a bag of teeth...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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