at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize