The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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