No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
