new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
