i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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