im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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