She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
