Cold hands, warm shart.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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