we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If that was your dad, he is hot
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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