Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
