I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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