the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
