I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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