if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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