I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
