i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
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Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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