why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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