you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
