Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
