We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
