Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
