if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
