We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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