sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
