Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
