All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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