Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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