they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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