She's JV to your varsity
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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