if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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