TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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