I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
