At least make sure they are 18
Why
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
