I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
