Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
