I skipped work to stalk him.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
