you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
