And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
