I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
