You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
