physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm too high and old for this...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
