Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
