Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
