New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
