I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
