who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
