What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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