He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
