one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
