got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
