i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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