i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do vagina's smell?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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