dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
