Your dad touched me again.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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