i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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