Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize